Black Ferns player says coaching comments contributed to nervous breakdown

Black Ferns hooker Te Kura Ngata-Aerengamate said she had a breakdown while on tour and derogatory comments from the coaching staff resulted in anxiety and hyperventilation.

Photo: © Photosport SA 2020 www.photosport.nz

Northland player Ngata-Aerengamate posted on social media that she suffered a “mental breakdown” during the team’s year-end tour of England and France.

The Black Ferns have lost all four games of the tour.

Ngata-Aerengamate, of Cook Island Māori and Ngāti Porou, said she was struggling to decide whether to speak out or not.

She said in the post: “I never thought I would get mentally ill in a sport I loved so much.”

Ngata-Aerengamate said she hasn’t performed the way she wanted on tour and believes her form over the past few years hasn’t been the best.

She said her mental health had been affected.

“In the last 8 years that I was in the Black Ferns I struggled mentally and finally gave it all up on the last tour.

“Yes, I had a nervous breakdown in front of everyone.”

In the Instagram post, the prostitute said comments made by Black Ferns coaches contributed to her declining mental health.

“Over the years, these are comments made by the head coach,” said Ngata-Aerengamate.

– That I had been selected but that I did not deserve to be part of the team.

– That he was embarrassed for me

– I was told he couldn’t tell my worth in the Blackferns

– I was told what my students would think of me?

– I was cursed to wear my jacket around my hips, yelled at me to run to the rucks, how I ran the ball, everything I did, I felt I was doing wrong .

– a recent comment that I was chosen only to play guitar

Ngata-Aerengamate, a Black Ferns veteran, said after the comments she “ended up going mad”, had to take anger management advice and found out she suffered from anxiety and anxiety. hyperventilating for the first time in her life.

She wrote: “I could hear these comments in my head as I tossed the ball. My self-confidence and self-esteem was so low it made me play like I was walking on eggshells and I was constantly too scared to speak out, and invited myself to doubt and insecurities, some of them unbearable to look at me in the mirror.

“I had forgotten the 5 year old girl who started playing rugby with her cousins ​​25 years ago.

“I let the words get to me over the years, the words became flesh.”

Ngata-Aerengamate said she had a message for others struggling with mental health issues.

“The lesson is never let anyone dim your light. Be proud of who you are. If you are being treated unfairly, hit him without apologizing because at the end of the day, it’s your in-game mana.

“I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m still a person and deserve to be treated with respect at the very least.

“Now I am on a healing path.

“Stand up. Speak. Know your worth.”

New Zealand Rugby professional rugby manager Chris Lendrum said the allegations were concerning and they were taking the matter seriously.



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